krishnan Mama stories Chapter one
Krishnan Mama is no more. But he once told me a story from his life to bring to point how an elder generation valued values in life.
Krishnan mama lived in Thukalassery in Thiruvalla. Thukalassery was a village in Thiruvalla. Thiruvalla is located in Central Travancore.
I have read how brahmin community came to Palakkad and Thiru ananthapuram. In olden days, Brahmins from Tanjore came to Palakkad and from Tirunelveli they came to Thiruananthapuram attracted by the royal patronage. Thiruvalla Sree Vallabhaswamy is one of the six divine places of Vaishnavites in Kerala out of the 108 in this Universe. But how and wherefrom or through which route the Thiruvalla brahmins came is not known to me.
The manimala river flows through Thukalassery. There were about 10 or 15 families here. It was here that our Krishnan Mama lived. Krishnan mama then went to a Steel plant near Calcutta where he retired as an Engineer. The story he told was this.
Krishnan mama chapter one contd
One day our Krishnan Mama when he was a student, had an urge to see a Cinema. Going for a cinema in some talkies (theatre was then called Talkies)is a herculian task. After many days of non-retortingly doing all that was told by mother and father and acting of hardworking in lessons, you get the money required only for a ticket of the lowest class (bench class). Then walking all the way a little money is made for an extra ice stick or cigarate muttai or kappalandi or one among the many bottled items that sold like hot cakes during the interval (intervals). The items are kept outside the talkies on a movable shop mounted on four big cycle tyres and at night the 'mannana vilakku' is lighted which gives out a lot of smoke. Had somebody from Copenhagen seen this they would have banned and luckily it is now a thing of the past. And then Krishnan mama like many others who saw this Cinema (movie) would have been busy for many days telling the stories frame by frame or enacting the scenes. The Theatre or Talkies is usually a hall with a thatched roof, thatched by palm leaves and there would be two or three intervals when the spool film is changed. The present day children would be laughing this story as imagination.. Yes we in Kerala lived like this just 50 years ago and don't be surprised i had been to such a talkies in Kannur just 25 years back and still more when we hear that such things exist even now in some parts of the country.
But our Krishnan Mama, poor child he didn't know the "somehow syndrome", was just a straight forward, brought up with all care by parents who wanted him to become a good boy who will be like his father setting up an example -like.
But the urge.. it grew by hours and within a day or two, it became something without which he will not be able to live.
Krishnan mama's father was an exemplary Head master. In those days, most of the brahmins will be judges or teachers, who were vouched for truthfulness and were mostly poor except for this asset called truthfulness and of good character.
krishnan mama's brain was shut off. He knew the little tin at the secret corner with a tight lid contained coins saved by father for some unknown purpose (which later was known as savings to be given to children for some purposeful spending. the money just for the ticket came into his hands. Not more not less. There is a truthfulness in stealing. The return from the Talkies was not as swift as the going. Probably the heart is heavy with guilt, and fear. Stealing was unheard of in this family. that too by The Headmaster's son is beyond dreaming. It seems that the Head Master daily counts the coins. The next day ...(Contd..)
The great Headmaster found out the culprit and was shocked. He felt that if it was allowed to be got away, it will lead to bigger thefts and also hold his head down on the face of the world, conscience. So he decided to punish suitably and gave strict instructions to mother to tie the boy to a post exactly when the HM was returning from school. The instructions was beautifully carried out though a bit of lie and cunningness went into it. It was as if both of them had imagined bad days ahead if it was not properly dealt with. The boy was tied to a post in front of the house. The Head master's cane fell all over the body. The fear went down the spine that added the cane weighed heavier and swifter.
All was over by five minutes and father went into the house and asked mother to untie and give good food. Krishnan was totally blasted. His conscience pricked. His pride hurt and his body was full of red marks due to the caning.
I hated mother because i( krishnan) could not run as she tied me to the post.
I saw her crying and she hugged the child and somehow cajoled him to take the food. Even when i took the food my mind was full of hurt ego and wanted to take revenge.
Afte the darkness fell, the child ran to the river and swam to the other side and went to a known house and got some money and swam back ( years after Krsihnnan mama was afraid at the thought of swimming across) Simply walked away without the knowledge of the people at home. Krishnan ran away from his house and reached Mavelikkara and went to Mahadeven and narrated the whole episode and said " I am not going back". At home people were sent on all directions to look for the child. Here in Mavelikkara, Krishnan was entrusted to their relative and landed back to own house with parents.
But since then Krishnan mama never told a single lie.. The Head master went back to work ..
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
FOOTBALL MATCH
FOOTBALL MATCH
It was a time when we moved from away from the temple town to a place called NGO Quarters Thekkummoodu. The address was: Lekshmi Ammal T, No.D5, NGO quarters, Behind PMG Office (Old Engineering College), Plamood, Trivandrum. Those people who lived in Trivandrum during 1960s will know what a place Thekkummoodu was.. The shifting was as if shifting from one culture to another. The NGO quarters was a new thought for the government employees. In those days people never wanted to live in groups. All wanted to live in independent houses with some agri-space. This was a new venture – Mr.Chellam nadar came from Kuzhithurai, Mr varma belonged to Chennithala,etc, from different cultureal background, from different cadres.. There were about a hundred families – quarters were divided into A, B, C D and E, according to their grades in the Office and E is for peons. But we never showed the differences in cadres. We began a new life, away from the temple town, in between non-veg. It was as if we were far away from the city. No noises of buses, and scooters are rare in the campus. . My mother was allotted Quarters no. D5. It was two houses under one tiled roof with a big wall partitioning the two houses. The next house was occupied by one mr ravuther. We never knew that such a man existed there. We saw him in the morning when he goes to office. It was One bed room house, One living room, a varanda and no attached bathrooms. Mr.Varma, Chandrika, Asari, Chellam nadar were our immediate neigbours.
The Quarters is situate just behind the Old Engineering College and we used the short-cut between the College, PMG Training College and City School. The Old Engg College, which boasted of teachers from all over the world was shifted to Karyavattom. This building was in the old Victorian style..there was a similarity between, the Palayam Church, Library, School of Arts. There was a muddy road in between the Old Engineering College campus and the City High School. Yes today’s youngsters do not know that there was a school here. It is now the KSRTC Vikas Bhavan terminal . It was a small bus stop and it was the only place we were afraid to cross the road to get city bus to East fort. Mostly we walked to palayam..The main reason to go to Statue was to get “Rava” from Spencer’s. It was always a long ‘Q’ there. I will be given only the exact change for fear of losing.
I was put in St.Joseph’s High School in the vth std. It was a 15 to 20 minutes walk from the Quarters to my school. Appa and amma had to go to Office by bus from PMG Jn. During those days parents won’t talk of money matters with children. I understood later that moving to quarters saved a lot because the rent was only below ten rupees. During those days, KSRTC charged 10 paise to East fort from PMG. Mr. Winnifred a tall and lean boy , in my class who stayed on the way to the Slaughter house was my friend. As a vegetarian I never knew what a slaughter house means and i was lucky that curiosity on this did not enter my head, or else, I would have been a non veg.
One day there was an announcement in the school. Our School is playing against …school at Military Grounds Pangaode. ..The school will be over by 2 in the afternoon. I also wanted to “hai hai” for my school. “Football” is to me a ball to play by only strong boys and strength is got only by eating hen and cows. But my school should win. I never knew the world outside East fort. This Winnifred and his friends have already planned to go to Pangode. I told him that I too would like to go..But he warned me ..It’s far away and we have to walk. Nothing will go into my head except going to Pangode. He said there is no time to waste..He made out his plans and I have to obey..Though my quarters was just a few furlongs away, I was asked to keep my “sanji” at his house.
Sanji is a cloth bag for carrying books..Leather was so costly that I have not seen any boy bring leather bags..Some smart guys bring books tied with a broad rubber band. The sanji was the easiest way of carrying books. It does not hurt your shoulders also. It can be washed and dried and used for years..The boys cannot cry like the present day children for new set of everything.. every year..
I thought that I could come back by the time my father reaches home. By 4 we will reach the grounds and the match will be over by 5.30. At the maximum by 6.30 we will be back at Winnifreds house. Even then I never thought of the darkness or the dog on the way the things I was usually afraid of.. my only thought was seeing a foot ball match and that my school should win ..
I had to run while Winnifred will walk..His legs are long. After all the fun and our school won the game, we returned back..It was darkness and lamp posts were not so near and we had to take torch light to walk. But walking is easier in those days as we will jump into only a speeding cyclist and enough space that very often we walked in the middle of the road and talking stories..
On reaching back at Winnifred’s house I was afraid of many things, the darkness, the dogs on the way and above all my father..I asked for help.. Winnifred then asked his younger brother to accompany me with a torch light..As it was a straight road inside the quarters, I could see a big crowd before my house..
I was shivering with fear. There was a hushed silence. I heard somebody telling my father “ Now don’t ask anything to the boy. Give him something and let him sleep..” But then I saw Winnifred’s brother was crying..He wan’t somebody to accompany back to his house..Some elders took charge of that..
At home after the usual 4 ‘O’clock, my grandmother started worrying..There was no mobiles .. even land phones were luxuries. As darkness came in, the news spread that I was missing.. the students left school by 2 “O”clock. They never imagined my venturing to see a match without father’s permission..Someone also thought of informing Police..Imagination went wild in the family and more when the crowd swelled.
With great comfort for many the crowd waned away and I was in deep sleep before anybody asking questions.
My father kept the questioning for some other day..
It was a time when we moved from away from the temple town to a place called NGO Quarters Thekkummoodu. The address was: Lekshmi Ammal T, No.D5, NGO quarters, Behind PMG Office (Old Engineering College), Plamood, Trivandrum. Those people who lived in Trivandrum during 1960s will know what a place Thekkummoodu was.. The shifting was as if shifting from one culture to another. The NGO quarters was a new thought for the government employees. In those days people never wanted to live in groups. All wanted to live in independent houses with some agri-space. This was a new venture – Mr.Chellam nadar came from Kuzhithurai, Mr varma belonged to Chennithala,etc, from different cultureal background, from different cadres.. There were about a hundred families – quarters were divided into A, B, C D and E, according to their grades in the Office and E is for peons. But we never showed the differences in cadres. We began a new life, away from the temple town, in between non-veg. It was as if we were far away from the city. No noises of buses, and scooters are rare in the campus. . My mother was allotted Quarters no. D5. It was two houses under one tiled roof with a big wall partitioning the two houses. The next house was occupied by one mr ravuther. We never knew that such a man existed there. We saw him in the morning when he goes to office. It was One bed room house, One living room, a varanda and no attached bathrooms. Mr.Varma, Chandrika, Asari, Chellam nadar were our immediate neigbours.
The Quarters is situate just behind the Old Engineering College and we used the short-cut between the College, PMG Training College and City School. The Old Engg College, which boasted of teachers from all over the world was shifted to Karyavattom. This building was in the old Victorian style..there was a similarity between, the Palayam Church, Library, School of Arts. There was a muddy road in between the Old Engineering College campus and the City High School. Yes today’s youngsters do not know that there was a school here. It is now the KSRTC Vikas Bhavan terminal . It was a small bus stop and it was the only place we were afraid to cross the road to get city bus to East fort. Mostly we walked to palayam..The main reason to go to Statue was to get “Rava” from Spencer’s. It was always a long ‘Q’ there. I will be given only the exact change for fear of losing.
I was put in St.Joseph’s High School in the vth std. It was a 15 to 20 minutes walk from the Quarters to my school. Appa and amma had to go to Office by bus from PMG Jn. During those days parents won’t talk of money matters with children. I understood later that moving to quarters saved a lot because the rent was only below ten rupees. During those days, KSRTC charged 10 paise to East fort from PMG. Mr. Winnifred a tall and lean boy , in my class who stayed on the way to the Slaughter house was my friend. As a vegetarian I never knew what a slaughter house means and i was lucky that curiosity on this did not enter my head, or else, I would have been a non veg.
One day there was an announcement in the school. Our School is playing against …school at Military Grounds Pangaode. ..The school will be over by 2 in the afternoon. I also wanted to “hai hai” for my school. “Football” is to me a ball to play by only strong boys and strength is got only by eating hen and cows. But my school should win. I never knew the world outside East fort. This Winnifred and his friends have already planned to go to Pangode. I told him that I too would like to go..But he warned me ..It’s far away and we have to walk. Nothing will go into my head except going to Pangode. He said there is no time to waste..He made out his plans and I have to obey..Though my quarters was just a few furlongs away, I was asked to keep my “sanji” at his house.
Sanji is a cloth bag for carrying books..Leather was so costly that I have not seen any boy bring leather bags..Some smart guys bring books tied with a broad rubber band. The sanji was the easiest way of carrying books. It does not hurt your shoulders also. It can be washed and dried and used for years..The boys cannot cry like the present day children for new set of everything.. every year..
I thought that I could come back by the time my father reaches home. By 4 we will reach the grounds and the match will be over by 5.30. At the maximum by 6.30 we will be back at Winnifreds house. Even then I never thought of the darkness or the dog on the way the things I was usually afraid of.. my only thought was seeing a foot ball match and that my school should win ..
I had to run while Winnifred will walk..His legs are long. After all the fun and our school won the game, we returned back..It was darkness and lamp posts were not so near and we had to take torch light to walk. But walking is easier in those days as we will jump into only a speeding cyclist and enough space that very often we walked in the middle of the road and talking stories..
On reaching back at Winnifred’s house I was afraid of many things, the darkness, the dogs on the way and above all my father..I asked for help.. Winnifred then asked his younger brother to accompany me with a torch light..As it was a straight road inside the quarters, I could see a big crowd before my house..
I was shivering with fear. There was a hushed silence. I heard somebody telling my father “ Now don’t ask anything to the boy. Give him something and let him sleep..” But then I saw Winnifred’s brother was crying..He wan’t somebody to accompany back to his house..Some elders took charge of that..
At home after the usual 4 ‘O’clock, my grandmother started worrying..There was no mobiles .. even land phones were luxuries. As darkness came in, the news spread that I was missing.. the students left school by 2 “O”clock. They never imagined my venturing to see a match without father’s permission..Someone also thought of informing Police..Imagination went wild in the family and more when the crowd swelled.
With great comfort for many the crowd waned away and I was in deep sleep before anybody asking questions.
My father kept the questioning for some other day..
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Blessings divine
I was searching for something among my old files at home and suddenly a piece of paper fell down. a lost and found story..A piece of my mind..
The year must 1995 or 1996..I was shattered in those days.. My loving mother died and a year is gone yet..One day i received a letter from my mother in law ( an ardent devotee of Kanchi Periyaval.. She can live without water and food but not without writing "Sree Rama Jayam ". Isn't this enough to make her blessings divine..The letter was an ordinary "Inkeyum sowkyam , ankeyum sowkyam" ..But it ends with "Blessings from Vijaya lakshmi "..
and I penned the following lines:
To my MOTHER (in-law)
Ah. what a laziness it was of others
I bow my head in reverence to them,
that I was able to receive in my hands
Thine Blessings Divine.
I know it was there for me
in thine heart of hearts
and now sent a la post
to fill my mind with joy.
I now wish very much
that others be lazy always
and i can receive
Thine Blessings Divine.
It is my prayers also
that thee shall not wait
for others to be lazy
to shower upon me
Thine Blessings Divine.
(I was told that she wrote the
letter to me because she did not
receive any letters from her sons
and she found some time to pen to me)
The year must 1995 or 1996..I was shattered in those days.. My loving mother died and a year is gone yet..One day i received a letter from my mother in law ( an ardent devotee of Kanchi Periyaval.. She can live without water and food but not without writing "Sree Rama Jayam ". Isn't this enough to make her blessings divine..The letter was an ordinary "Inkeyum sowkyam , ankeyum sowkyam" ..But it ends with "Blessings from Vijaya lakshmi "..
and I penned the following lines:
To my MOTHER (in-law)
Ah. what a laziness it was of others
I bow my head in reverence to them,
that I was able to receive in my hands
Thine Blessings Divine.
I know it was there for me
in thine heart of hearts
and now sent a la post
to fill my mind with joy.
I now wish very much
that others be lazy always
and i can receive
Thine Blessings Divine.
It is my prayers also
that thee shall not wait
for others to be lazy
to shower upon me
Thine Blessings Divine.
(I was told that she wrote the
letter to me because she did not
receive any letters from her sons
and she found some time to pen to me)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
football match
FOOTBALL MATCH
It was a time when we moved from away from the temple town to a place called NGO Quarters Thekkummoodu. The address was: Lekshmi Ammal T, No.D5, NGO quarters, Behind PMG Office (Old Engineering College), Plamood, Trivandrum. Those people who lived in Trivandrum during 1960s will know what a place Thekkummoodu was.. The shifting was as if shifting from one culture to another. The NGO quarters was a new thought for the government employees. In those days people never wanted to live in groups. All wanted to live in independent houses with some agri-space. This was a new venture – Mr.Chellam nadar came from Kuzhithurai, Mr varma belonged to Chennithala,etc, from different cultureal background, from different cadres.. There were about a hundred families – quarters were divided into A, B, C D and E, according to their grades in the Office and E is for peons. But we never showed the differences in cadres. We began a new life, away from the temple town, in between non-veg. It was as if we were far away from the city. No noises of buses, and scooters are rare in the campus. . My mother was allotted Quarters no. D5. It was two houses under one tiled roof with a big wall partitioning the two houses. The next house was occupied by one mr ravuther. We never knew that such a man existed there. We saw him in the morning when he goes to office. It was One bed room house, One living room, a varanda and no attached bathrooms. Mr.Varma, Chandrika, Asari, Chellam nadar were our immediate neigbours.
The Quarters is situate just behind the Old Engineering College and we used the short-cut between the College, PMG Training College and City School. The Old Engg College, which boasted of teachers from all over the world was shifted to Karyavattom. This building was in the old Victorian style..there was a similarity between, the Palayam Church, Library, School of Arts. There was a muddy road in between the Old Engineering College campus and the City High School. Yes today’s youngsters do not know that there was a school here. It is now the KSRTC Vikas Bhavan terminal . It was a small bus stop and it was the only place we were afraid to cross the road to get city bus to East fort. Mostly we walked to palayam..The main reason to go to Statue was to get “Rava” from Spencer’s. It was always a long ‘Q’ there. I will be given only the exact change for fear of losing.
I was put in St.Joseph’s High School in the vth std. It was a 15 to 20 minutes walk from the Quarters to my school. Appa and amma had to go to Office by bus from PMG Jn. During those days parents won’t talk of money matters with children. I understood later that moving to quarters saved a lot because the rent was only below ten rupees. During those days, KSRTC charged 10 paise to East fort from PMG. Mr. Winnifred a tall and lean boy , in my class who stayed on the way to the Slaughter house was my friend. As a vegetarian I never knew what a slaughter house means and i was lucky that curiosity on this did not enter my head, or else, I would have been a non veg.
One day there was an announcement in the school. Our School is playing against …school at Military Grounds Pangaode. ..The school will be over by 2 in the afternoon. I also wanted to “hai hai” for my school. “Football” is to me a ball to play by only strong boys and strength is got only by eating hen and cows. But my school should win. I never knew the world outside East fort. This Winnifred and his friends have already planned to go to Pangode. I told him that I too would like to go..But he warned me ..It’s far away and we have to walk. Nothing will go into my head except going to Pangode. He said there is no time to waste..He made out his plans and I have to obey..Though my quarters was just a few furlongs away, I was asked to keep my “sanji” at his house.
Sanji is a cloth bag for carrying books..Leather was so costly that I have not seen any boy bring leather bags..Some smart guys bring books tied with a broad rubber band. The sanji was the easiest way of carrying books. It does not hurt your shoulders also. It can be washed and dried and used for years..The boys cannot cry like the present day children for new set of everything.. every year..
I thought that I could come back by the time my father reaches home. By 4 we will reach the grounds and the match will be over by 5.30. At the maximum by 6.30 we will be back at Winnifreds house. Even then I never thought of the darkness or the dog on the way the things I was usually afraid of.. my only thought was seeing a foot ball match and that my school should win ..
I had to run while Winnifred will walk..His legs are long. After all the fun and our school won the game, we returned back..It was darkness and lamp posts were not so near and we had to take torch light to walk. But walking is easier in those days as we will jump into only a speeding cyclist and enough space that very often we walked in the middle of the road and talking stories..
On reaching back at Winnifred’s house I was afraid of many things, the darkness, the dogs on the way and above all my father..I asked for help.. Winnifred then asked his younger brother to accompany me with a torch light..As it was a straight road inside the quarters, I could see a big crowd before my house..
I was shivering with fear. There was a hushed silence. I heard somebody telling my father “ Now don’t ask anything to the boy. Give him something and let him sleep..” But then I saw Winnifred’s brother was crying..He wan’t somebody to accompany back to his house..Some elders took charge of that..
At home after the usual 4 ‘O’clock, my grandmother started worrying..There was no mobiles .. even land phones were luxuries. As darkness came in, the news spread that I was missing.. the students left school by 2 “O”clock. They never imagined my venturing to see a match without father’s permission..Someone also thought of informing Police..Imagination went wild in the family and more when the crowd swelled.
With great comfort for many the crowd waned away and I was in deep sleep before anybody asking questions.
My father kept the questioning for some other day..
It was a time when we moved from away from the temple town to a place called NGO Quarters Thekkummoodu. The address was: Lekshmi Ammal T, No.D5, NGO quarters, Behind PMG Office (Old Engineering College), Plamood, Trivandrum. Those people who lived in Trivandrum during 1960s will know what a place Thekkummoodu was.. The shifting was as if shifting from one culture to another. The NGO quarters was a new thought for the government employees. In those days people never wanted to live in groups. All wanted to live in independent houses with some agri-space. This was a new venture – Mr.Chellam nadar came from Kuzhithurai, Mr varma belonged to Chennithala,etc, from different cultureal background, from different cadres.. There were about a hundred families – quarters were divided into A, B, C D and E, according to their grades in the Office and E is for peons. But we never showed the differences in cadres. We began a new life, away from the temple town, in between non-veg. It was as if we were far away from the city. No noises of buses, and scooters are rare in the campus. . My mother was allotted Quarters no. D5. It was two houses under one tiled roof with a big wall partitioning the two houses. The next house was occupied by one mr ravuther. We never knew that such a man existed there. We saw him in the morning when he goes to office. It was One bed room house, One living room, a varanda and no attached bathrooms. Mr.Varma, Chandrika, Asari, Chellam nadar were our immediate neigbours.
The Quarters is situate just behind the Old Engineering College and we used the short-cut between the College, PMG Training College and City School. The Old Engg College, which boasted of teachers from all over the world was shifted to Karyavattom. This building was in the old Victorian style..there was a similarity between, the Palayam Church, Library, School of Arts. There was a muddy road in between the Old Engineering College campus and the City High School. Yes today’s youngsters do not know that there was a school here. It is now the KSRTC Vikas Bhavan terminal . It was a small bus stop and it was the only place we were afraid to cross the road to get city bus to East fort. Mostly we walked to palayam..The main reason to go to Statue was to get “Rava” from Spencer’s. It was always a long ‘Q’ there. I will be given only the exact change for fear of losing.
I was put in St.Joseph’s High School in the vth std. It was a 15 to 20 minutes walk from the Quarters to my school. Appa and amma had to go to Office by bus from PMG Jn. During those days parents won’t talk of money matters with children. I understood later that moving to quarters saved a lot because the rent was only below ten rupees. During those days, KSRTC charged 10 paise to East fort from PMG. Mr. Winnifred a tall and lean boy , in my class who stayed on the way to the Slaughter house was my friend. As a vegetarian I never knew what a slaughter house means and i was lucky that curiosity on this did not enter my head, or else, I would have been a non veg.
One day there was an announcement in the school. Our School is playing against …school at Military Grounds Pangaode. ..The school will be over by 2 in the afternoon. I also wanted to “hai hai” for my school. “Football” is to me a ball to play by only strong boys and strength is got only by eating hen and cows. But my school should win. I never knew the world outside East fort. This Winnifred and his friends have already planned to go to Pangode. I told him that I too would like to go..But he warned me ..It’s far away and we have to walk. Nothing will go into my head except going to Pangode. He said there is no time to waste..He made out his plans and I have to obey..Though my quarters was just a few furlongs away, I was asked to keep my “sanji” at his house.
Sanji is a cloth bag for carrying books..Leather was so costly that I have not seen any boy bring leather bags..Some smart guys bring books tied with a broad rubber band. The sanji was the easiest way of carrying books. It does not hurt your shoulders also. It can be washed and dried and used for years..The boys cannot cry like the present day children for new set of everything.. every year..
I thought that I could come back by the time my father reaches home. By 4 we will reach the grounds and the match will be over by 5.30. At the maximum by 6.30 we will be back at Winnifreds house. Even then I never thought of the darkness or the dog on the way the things I was usually afraid of.. my only thought was seeing a foot ball match and that my school should win ..
I had to run while Winnifred will walk..His legs are long. After all the fun and our school won the game, we returned back..It was darkness and lamp posts were not so near and we had to take torch light to walk. But walking is easier in those days as we will jump into only a speeding cyclist and enough space that very often we walked in the middle of the road and talking stories..
On reaching back at Winnifred’s house I was afraid of many things, the darkness, the dogs on the way and above all my father..I asked for help.. Winnifred then asked his younger brother to accompany me with a torch light..As it was a straight road inside the quarters, I could see a big crowd before my house..
I was shivering with fear. There was a hushed silence. I heard somebody telling my father “ Now don’t ask anything to the boy. Give him something and let him sleep..” But then I saw Winnifred’s brother was crying..He wan’t somebody to accompany back to his house..Some elders took charge of that..
At home after the usual 4 ‘O’clock, my grandmother started worrying..There was no mobiles .. even land phones were luxuries. As darkness came in, the news spread that I was missing.. the students left school by 2 “O”clock. They never imagined my venturing to see a match without father’s permission..Someone also thought of informing Police..Imagination went wild in the family and more when the crowd swelled.
With great comfort for many the crowd waned away and I was in deep sleep before anybody asking questions.
My father kept the questioning for some other day..
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The promise
The promise
My child pavitra was just 3 years old.
Once I promised to take the child to Museum..I came a bit late at about 7 P.m. I thought I should never break the promises lest the child’s mind will be hurt and that’s the beginning of my child not keeping promises when she grow up…So I said..yes we are going.. The clouds were dark and low …a sign of showers soon. I have to reach zoo before the rain falls..It was tense..I started my scooter..and my father in his usual sonorous voice..Where are you upto with the child..what if it downpours..and by the time he completed I was already half the way.. As men are wise and unlike me who did not want to give this importance to promises, the crowd was thin and almost nil.. The ice cream parlour inside the zoo, the main attraction of my child and also Padmaja, is readying to down the shutters… The rain started..Not simply rain the downpour..In between with lightnings. My mind was tense..Should I have stayed back hearing to my elders’ or was it proper to drop promises if conditions are unfavourable and above all how to go back in the rain…and the stories of lightning hitting people and for all these I will be blamed.. But somewhere my strong voice confirms that I was right..Finally the rain subsides a little and I tried to cover the child’s head with a kerchief and we reach back home..it looked as the hen drenched in rains..My father’s scolding looks and a few hurting words..Isn’t that enough for keeping promises to my dear child..
My child pavitra was just 3 years old.
Once I promised to take the child to Museum..I came a bit late at about 7 P.m. I thought I should never break the promises lest the child’s mind will be hurt and that’s the beginning of my child not keeping promises when she grow up…So I said..yes we are going.. The clouds were dark and low …a sign of showers soon. I have to reach zoo before the rain falls..It was tense..I started my scooter..and my father in his usual sonorous voice..Where are you upto with the child..what if it downpours..and by the time he completed I was already half the way.. As men are wise and unlike me who did not want to give this importance to promises, the crowd was thin and almost nil.. The ice cream parlour inside the zoo, the main attraction of my child and also Padmaja, is readying to down the shutters… The rain started..Not simply rain the downpour..In between with lightnings. My mind was tense..Should I have stayed back hearing to my elders’ or was it proper to drop promises if conditions are unfavourable and above all how to go back in the rain…and the stories of lightning hitting people and for all these I will be blamed.. But somewhere my strong voice confirms that I was right..Finally the rain subsides a little and I tried to cover the child’s head with a kerchief and we reach back home..it looked as the hen drenched in rains..My father’s scolding looks and a few hurting words..Isn’t that enough for keeping promises to my dear child..
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Attended a talk on
Attended a talk on "Lifestyle diseases" at Bankers Club Trivandrum, by Dr.hareendranath,Ayurveda expert. He says "I give Virgin Coconut Oil to my patients with cholosterol. Dr Venugopal practicing in USA exposes the nexus between business and healthcare. A common argument is that it is the business people who influences healthcare to fix the upper limit for BP, sugar, cholosteol etc and individual levels are ignored.
but it was fun to see that potbelly bank managers after hearing healthcare, lifestyle diseases with a fearful face, running into the felowship room and thereafter to the Chicken corner at the food tables.
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but it was fun to see that potbelly bank managers after hearing healthcare, lifestyle diseases with a fearful face, running into the felowship room and thereafter to the Chicken corner at the food tables.
Posted using ShareThis
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I feel frightened to see a million youngsters aspiring for 1500 SBI CLERK. But some say that many married girls write for a second income for a family. Many young IT engineers also attend the exam...to leave when there is another bloom in IT sector?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
promotion
yesterday the list of invitees for promotion to next grade was published. In State Bank the list is called "zone of selection"..and i am not IN.
i have seen many reality shows where they show people NOT IN..and almost all were in tears..straining to cover up their heavy hearts..and they are asked to speak..everyone thanks for all the support they got ..people say luck played..
i always tried to do my best.. almost all my bosses have been publicly acknowledging the hardwork which many a time have got them accolades..
But recently i was able to see my 'secret file'..where your Confidential Reports are filed..
Many of them say 'hardworking, intelligent ..."
One of my close friend who became my boss .."An inteligent Officer but at times cannot be depended"
Another Regional Manager, who dictated my Review for promotion, wrote "i don't agree to points 2 and 3 of Branch Manager..(points 2 and three were of something like hardworking and intelligent".. But he frequently telephoned and talked to me
Many gave me only "Good" rating and which insiders call "Good for nothing"
My postings were all tough ones, First was in Madayi (where you will get only fish and people look down upon you when you say you are a vegetarian - ) The at Pappanamcode Industrial branch with the demanding Regional Research Laboratory on one hand and the number of SSI units within the oldest Industrial Estates in Kerala and having the largest Lock and Key Godowns..and from there with the Association's interferences i was posted to Parassala (where people do not like to go because no books were tallied for 2 years (and again this was inadvertently omitted to be included in such a list to the Board).
Then at Calicut Palayam i had to work with heavy heart due to my mother's sudden death and my manager's recommendation and my request to the Late Murali (the great neta) for a transfer to somewhere near Trivandrum - was thrown to dusbtin and instead i was transferred to Zonal Office, calicut where a new region was formed and we had to build a new regional office from scratch...
My posting as Manager PSB at Tripunithura was changed to Manager C&I for fitting another neta and at tripunithura there was only one C&I - the KEL a govt unit. There also we had to work hard to change the stagnant level of 40 crores for the past 3 years and in the third year we achieved 95 crores and trend was set..
But again i was posted to cherthala as PSB with no assistants, with daily three to five loans and inspections and follow up..and with 1 crore Sahaya varsha..
Again the DGM wanted to post me to Ambalapuzha branch and again Association wanted to post somebody else and i landed at Ramankary..and still we worked as a team and i was awarded very good score by my Regional Manager ..My transfer request to be with my family saw dustbin again..and i was retained...
The new regional manager felt that my achievement of 150% of budget was not to be considered as an achievement..The first time the branch had got operating profit and with two big social circle events..i felt that i should have been more inactive..The AGM is asking my customers "how much did you give him" and when it reaches my ears..i am helpless..how can i convince him ...
my mind goes in search of all stories i have heard to console me...See Mr rajamoni....see mr mukundan..and who all...and to the astrologers saying that your Mars is in a bad position and your Saturn is working against you...
My DGM comes and says "sorry better luck next time" and your friends who are in the list throws a sympathetic smile and i say goodluck to them and
some say Oh that "Ramankary"..
Even my wife tries to build up cheers in me saying why don't you resign...it is better to work day and night in Muthoot rather than SBT..
No tears ...i am trying to read "lalitha sahasranamam"
I try to remember a wall hanging in a Doctor's house..
I asked for..... but God did not give...
I asked for......God did not give
But God gave me alot of things that i didn't ask for..
Still in some corner of my mind...
a tear drop falls down into oblivion..
i have seen many reality shows where they show people NOT IN..and almost all were in tears..straining to cover up their heavy hearts..and they are asked to speak..everyone thanks for all the support they got ..people say luck played..
i always tried to do my best.. almost all my bosses have been publicly acknowledging the hardwork which many a time have got them accolades..
But recently i was able to see my 'secret file'..where your Confidential Reports are filed..
Many of them say 'hardworking, intelligent ..."
One of my close friend who became my boss .."An inteligent Officer but at times cannot be depended"
Another Regional Manager, who dictated my Review for promotion, wrote "i don't agree to points 2 and 3 of Branch Manager..(points 2 and three were of something like hardworking and intelligent".. But he frequently telephoned and talked to me
Many gave me only "Good" rating and which insiders call "Good for nothing"
My postings were all tough ones, First was in Madayi (where you will get only fish and people look down upon you when you say you are a vegetarian - ) The at Pappanamcode Industrial branch with the demanding Regional Research Laboratory on one hand and the number of SSI units within the oldest Industrial Estates in Kerala and having the largest Lock and Key Godowns..and from there with the Association's interferences i was posted to Parassala (where people do not like to go because no books were tallied for 2 years (and again this was inadvertently omitted to be included in such a list to the Board).
Then at Calicut Palayam i had to work with heavy heart due to my mother's sudden death and my manager's recommendation and my request to the Late Murali (the great neta) for a transfer to somewhere near Trivandrum - was thrown to dusbtin and instead i was transferred to Zonal Office, calicut where a new region was formed and we had to build a new regional office from scratch...
My posting as Manager PSB at Tripunithura was changed to Manager C&I for fitting another neta and at tripunithura there was only one C&I - the KEL a govt unit. There also we had to work hard to change the stagnant level of 40 crores for the past 3 years and in the third year we achieved 95 crores and trend was set..
But again i was posted to cherthala as PSB with no assistants, with daily three to five loans and inspections and follow up..and with 1 crore Sahaya varsha..
Again the DGM wanted to post me to Ambalapuzha branch and again Association wanted to post somebody else and i landed at Ramankary..and still we worked as a team and i was awarded very good score by my Regional Manager ..My transfer request to be with my family saw dustbin again..and i was retained...
The new regional manager felt that my achievement of 150% of budget was not to be considered as an achievement..The first time the branch had got operating profit and with two big social circle events..i felt that i should have been more inactive..The AGM is asking my customers "how much did you give him" and when it reaches my ears..i am helpless..how can i convince him ...
my mind goes in search of all stories i have heard to console me...See Mr rajamoni....see mr mukundan..and who all...and to the astrologers saying that your Mars is in a bad position and your Saturn is working against you...
My DGM comes and says "sorry better luck next time" and your friends who are in the list throws a sympathetic smile and i say goodluck to them and
some say Oh that "Ramankary"..
Even my wife tries to build up cheers in me saying why don't you resign...it is better to work day and night in Muthoot rather than SBT..
No tears ...i am trying to read "lalitha sahasranamam"
I try to remember a wall hanging in a Doctor's house..
I asked for..... but God did not give...
I asked for......God did not give
But God gave me alot of things that i didn't ask for..
Still in some corner of my mind...
a tear drop falls down into oblivion..
Saturday, October 17, 2009
DISTRUST
The place: The tiled class rooms behind the main building of Mar Ivanios College
Year ; Somewhere in 1971-72
It was noon - lunch break
The bell rings..
As if we eagerly waiting for the bell, we rushed down and ran towards "the place". Some students went home, some rich boys and their "tails" headed to Canteen.
The tiled class rooms were used as lunch rooms during luch break. The classrooms had windows on the eastern side..In between the two buildings was the pathway. The pathway was full of pebble like stones..
The noon time was the busiest time for the dogs and also for the two beggar boys whose attendance register can never show a "A" for absent if one were to keep such a register.
The boys did not have fair complexion and dressed poorly and all that can be related to beggarly.
It was a daily scene at the windows..
The students brought with them food neatly packed in plantain leaves. Plantain leaves were once in plenty in this part of the land. This packet were then wrapped in newspapers. The mothers took so much pains for this.. The boys had to got much to do during the lunch hour than during the classes and hence had little time to eat all the food the mother hopefully wanted the child to eat. Only half the food goes in and the plantain leave is again packed and thrown outside through these windows.. But many a day these remains were snatched from the hands by the beggar boys lest it falls into the wastewater pits (called 'oda' locally) and there is a big noisy scene of the dogs "grrrrr....r" for these left-overs.
My mother packs food in a stainless steel box. The slippery thing had given me lot of trouble while travelling in the KSRTC buses, which takes us more like a boat in water than a bus on the road..sudden brakes, swift sharp turns without applying brakes, and noises coming all through and above all from cries from passengers who fall from this side to that side, some gets a hit on the iron bars fitted on the seats.
One can laugh upto their imagination and visualisation..if you can imagine a four ft boy hanging with all difficulty to the long iron rod fitted at about 5ft on the buses adn with the rod so smooth with thousands of hands rubbing on them since inception. The smooth rods helped in shifting the poor hapless hangers smoothly from the rear end of the bus to the front end where the women stand. Added to these woes is the slippery lunch box i had to carry each day.
One day i felt bad of the poor boys eating left overs.. I opened my box and took a handful of the curd rice and asked them to take. You won't believe, the boy hesitated and when i insisted he ran away.
You are not TRUSTED..
Year ; Somewhere in 1971-72
It was noon - lunch break
The bell rings..
As if we eagerly waiting for the bell, we rushed down and ran towards "the place". Some students went home, some rich boys and their "tails" headed to Canteen.
The tiled class rooms were used as lunch rooms during luch break. The classrooms had windows on the eastern side..In between the two buildings was the pathway. The pathway was full of pebble like stones..
The noon time was the busiest time for the dogs and also for the two beggar boys whose attendance register can never show a "A" for absent if one were to keep such a register.
The boys did not have fair complexion and dressed poorly and all that can be related to beggarly.
It was a daily scene at the windows..
The students brought with them food neatly packed in plantain leaves. Plantain leaves were once in plenty in this part of the land. This packet were then wrapped in newspapers. The mothers took so much pains for this.. The boys had to got much to do during the lunch hour than during the classes and hence had little time to eat all the food the mother hopefully wanted the child to eat. Only half the food goes in and the plantain leave is again packed and thrown outside through these windows.. But many a day these remains were snatched from the hands by the beggar boys lest it falls into the wastewater pits (called 'oda' locally) and there is a big noisy scene of the dogs "grrrrr....r" for these left-overs.
My mother packs food in a stainless steel box. The slippery thing had given me lot of trouble while travelling in the KSRTC buses, which takes us more like a boat in water than a bus on the road..sudden brakes, swift sharp turns without applying brakes, and noises coming all through and above all from cries from passengers who fall from this side to that side, some gets a hit on the iron bars fitted on the seats.
One can laugh upto their imagination and visualisation..if you can imagine a four ft boy hanging with all difficulty to the long iron rod fitted at about 5ft on the buses adn with the rod so smooth with thousands of hands rubbing on them since inception. The smooth rods helped in shifting the poor hapless hangers smoothly from the rear end of the bus to the front end where the women stand. Added to these woes is the slippery lunch box i had to carry each day.
One day i felt bad of the poor boys eating left overs.. I opened my box and took a handful of the curd rice and asked them to take. You won't believe, the boy hesitated and when i insisted he ran away.
You are not TRUSTED..
Monday, October 12, 2009
small problems
Sreekumari a dy manager was attached to Credit Audit Department. Credit Audit for a temporary long period was attached to DGM (Audit and Inspection). Credit Audit dept was in 3rd Floor and Inspection Department was in the 4th floor. Other than Sreekumari, the other officers are AGMs who are Inspecting Officials. So Sreekumari is the all in all of the department. Sreekumari is sincere. She is seen always running between 3rd and 4th floor. I was concerned only of the memorandum to be put up by credit audit department, to the Audit Committee. I was coordinating the Audit Committee and hence Sreekumari is also a friend of mine. The DGMs room at Head Office has a small glass window kept at about 5 ft on the door, so that one can peep through the glass and see if the DGM is inside or not. One day this Sreekumari came to me and asked whether DGM is inside or not.. I was just 5.1 or 5.2 ft tall. So i went and looked through the glass window and informed her that DGM is not there. She came to me and told me "See I am too small and hence i am troubling you". Height matters..
and i rememberedYears back. I think i was in 6th or 7th standard in St.Joseph's HS Trivandrum. I was one of front benchers . in our class front bench is for pigmies.. I fancied of joining NCC from 5th Std as my scouting for joining Scout failed because Scout master asked Rs.5/- for a Scout Camp which my parents refused. On hearing that my friends were joining NCC Airwing I also went and stood in the queue. There wasn't any restrictions as such. On reaching one's turn, a boy will select a blue shirt (the uniform was blue and blue and blue cap) and then he is admitted to the rolls. When it was my turn, the selector tried two or three shirts and none matched my shoulders.. and i was declared too short for Airwing. The Master patted me on my back and asked to come next year after growing a little more .. My face went white..( i now feel that Complan could have hit the market years before)
Small is not beautiful..
How i increased my height withou complan is another story.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
please stand outside
This happened on 10th Oct.09
I was preparing papers for the upcoming Audit Committee of Executives (ACE) for which i happen to be coordinator. My Boss DGM(Audit and Inspection) is the Secretary of the ACE meetings and i have to get the Reviews from other departments and prepare a file for all Top Executives and has to be given at least a day before. This is a point of tension. In total there should be a feel of "all went well"..from the basic preparation of files, the inputs, the spellings, the quality of inputs, the jotting down of discussions, the preparation of minutes, and getting approval for all..
In between one of the answers for a last meeting query (this meeting should place a Action Taken Report on last meeting's questions and many departments would not have taken any action or probably many action points may require lot of time which the department heads would not like to tell public or give in writing) was for arranging for a booklet ,and our present MD is fond of books, on the various types of insurance available and meant for the common layman - the branch manager. The book to be brought out by a committee of Law dept and AGM (Training - now Learning Centre) By the incident happened to me today i doubt that the change in names would bring change in the attitudes.
I took the notings personally to Law dept where my friends were very helpful.. they asked me to write ..the process started..and also requested me to have a word with the AGM (Learning centre).
I waited outside his room. . there is nothing available to know whether he is inside or not.. and i suggested a small glass window of 1ftX1ft so that you can peep and decide whether to go in or wait outside.
My Y.K (AGM) came from outside..and my friend Mr.Sreekumar and myself went inside. I just waited near the door..after a few seconds i went two steps towards him and he asked "Entha.." I said Or cheriya kariyam.. and was beginning to tell..
Immediately, he said .. You wait outside.. I will call you...
I jumped outside..this is not the man who shook hands with me yesterday when I was the RBI Inspectors....this is not the type of AGMs who i visit earlier for such things..
I felt very sad .. I went to my dept and became formal..a letter from my dept to Learning centre requesting him to liaise with Law dept and bring a booklet on insurance and TEACH the officers who come for training. and i thought " a Learning centre is the seat of knowledge and the Head should be approachable even on mobile and any time..that's the way things are moving..and unfortunately he is a PO and POs are supposed to be broad minded ...
My usual conclusion : Things work because of personal equations; All the problems can be boiled down to "PERSONNEL - PLACEMENTS" and nobody looks into this.
I was preparing papers for the upcoming Audit Committee of Executives (ACE) for which i happen to be coordinator. My Boss DGM(Audit and Inspection) is the Secretary of the ACE meetings and i have to get the Reviews from other departments and prepare a file for all Top Executives and has to be given at least a day before. This is a point of tension. In total there should be a feel of "all went well"..from the basic preparation of files, the inputs, the spellings, the quality of inputs, the jotting down of discussions, the preparation of minutes, and getting approval for all..
In between one of the answers for a last meeting query (this meeting should place a Action Taken Report on last meeting's questions and many departments would not have taken any action or probably many action points may require lot of time which the department heads would not like to tell public or give in writing) was for arranging for a booklet ,and our present MD is fond of books, on the various types of insurance available and meant for the common layman - the branch manager. The book to be brought out by a committee of Law dept and AGM (Training - now Learning Centre) By the incident happened to me today i doubt that the change in names would bring change in the attitudes.
I took the notings personally to Law dept where my friends were very helpful.. they asked me to write ..the process started..and also requested me to have a word with the AGM (Learning centre).
I waited outside his room. . there is nothing available to know whether he is inside or not.. and i suggested a small glass window of 1ftX1ft so that you can peep and decide whether to go in or wait outside.
My Y.K (AGM) came from outside..and my friend Mr.Sreekumar and myself went inside. I just waited near the door..after a few seconds i went two steps towards him and he asked "Entha.." I said Or cheriya kariyam.. and was beginning to tell..
Immediately, he said .. You wait outside.. I will call you...
I jumped outside..this is not the man who shook hands with me yesterday when I was the RBI Inspectors....this is not the type of AGMs who i visit earlier for such things..
I felt very sad .. I went to my dept and became formal..a letter from my dept to Learning centre requesting him to liaise with Law dept and bring a booklet on insurance and TEACH the officers who come for training. and i thought " a Learning centre is the seat of knowledge and the Head should be approachable even on mobile and any time..that's the way things are moving..and unfortunately he is a PO and POs are supposed to be broad minded ...
My usual conclusion : Things work because of personal equations; All the problems can be boiled down to "PERSONNEL - PLACEMENTS" and nobody looks into this.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
undressed child
I think it happened during my third standard in Holy Angels. That was the time when the four storied building was under construction.
for this purpose there was a water tank. Some wooden logs was floating on the water. Some say the tank was about 4-5 ft. After lunch during interval, we played at the tank by pushing the wooden logs from one side to the other. Suddenly somebody jokingly pushed me and i fell into the water. but some other boy gave me a hand and i was pulled up. I was fully wet. The Head mistress (sister..i don't remember the name) asked me to go with two senior girls, may be in the 9th or 10th std. They undressed me and dried my uniform. after about an hour, i came back dressed with fear in mind.
for this purpose there was a water tank. Some wooden logs was floating on the water. Some say the tank was about 4-5 ft. After lunch during interval, we played at the tank by pushing the wooden logs from one side to the other. Suddenly somebody jokingly pushed me and i fell into the water. but some other boy gave me a hand and i was pulled up. I was fully wet. The Head mistress (sister..i don't remember the name) asked me to go with two senior girls, may be in the 9th or 10th std. They undressed me and dried my uniform. after about an hour, i came back dressed with fear in mind.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
america 1
Daughter hates Dad's way
The next day after we arrived at USA, v (son-in-law) and P (daughter) took us to Detroit. Shankar Krishnan (padmaja’s brother)and his family lived in Detroit. He is in a high position in HP. He lives in own house. The house is pretty big with 4 bed rooms, three or four bathrooms, one big hall, a beautiful basement room with a tt table and a theatre with big screen tv and sound system. The inside ambience one would love to live in (especially a middle class Indian). The outside community ambience resembles with the pictures we see in cinemas, picture posters and we would just fall for it. Here people would not loiter here and there and there are virtually no one on the roads and I loved to walk round and round in the community. The silence is great and you can practice yoga on the roadside. The house is pretty big with 4 bed rooms, three or four bathrooms, one big hall, a beautiful basement room with a tt table and a theatre with big screen tv and sound system. The inside ambience one would love to live in (especially a middle class Indian). The outside community ambience resembles with the pictures we see in cinemas, picture posters and we would just fall for it.
The Arangetram of Kamya and Keerthana was appreciated by each who attended the function. Sankar says that even after a week he has been receiving calls from people who missed the function saying that those who were able to make it on that day were blessed. Sankar’s house looked as a kalyana veedu with relatives and artists in his house. Sankar says that he is in the GLAC and with Meena’s samayal, artists coming to Detroit usually stay with them. It was praises and praises “Keerthana for thodi , kamya for kalyani, ..One person came and told Sankar “Had you been my father I would have sung like this” and Meena was behind all the success..
The day next we were doing prostrations before the great mridanga vidwan and his wife to seek their blessings. P also did namaskaram. But everyone looked at us. This was an Indian crowd and she was wearing sleeveless and was in an American dress. I showed some facial expressions to mean that i disliked the dress (as i cannot openly tell that i don't appreciate sleeveless before indian crowd. P brushed it aside. Her face was one of contempt that for an illiterate father from a remote Indian village.
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