Periyamama poyachu

In the evening Pushpa rang me and told “Periyamama poyachu”..

He voice was ..A sigh of relief…

I did not how to react..

It was good that he died..

But he died without family…..No karmas done…died somewhere in an oldage home in attingal..

No one ever knew him…..because he was dump..I don’t still know whether he was deaf..

He never had a good life…

But he worked in Pathanasamy kovil..Joil – vilakkeduppu..pension about 8000/- but did he enjoy life..

My grandmother used to say..”Giri I wanted to tell you a serious thing…though it did not make me serious..All of you join together and find out a solution for this one…Periyamama”

She died without this solution….

Paati…my grandfather’s(mother’ father) used to carry him to Ooma school in Jagathy …but when she is back home..he is there playing..choru padackal…the only play I have heard he had played.. there was a hall outside Pathanasamy temple I have seen my eyes unbelieving..chemba arisi chatham..in the shape of pathram upside down..It was enough for two of us but the fisherwomen will be buying two or three and enjoying with the morumvellam and achar from a vendor on the road…

Periyamama used to bring his share ..all mathilakam employees had a share.. I liked the taste…we also feel that it is prasadam of the Lord..

This passion of Periyavan.. made him stay more  inside this big temple and finally got him a job there..Vilakkeduppu..

During the seeveli..we children used to tell others…Periyamama..Periyamama…Equally we were speechless when somebody calls him..”pottan..”

I knew his brilliance..when once my grandmother not wanting him to attend a relative’s marriage..saw him there even before she reached..How he knew the bus, the routes ? Even the well read ones would need assistants..but this man..”unpad..deaf and dumb..still he can do anything..”

Sometimes he used to write on his hand and I somehow gathered his words…He was telling that he was going to some IAS officer’s house to give the prasadam..He was either chosen by temple authorities or by the IAS Officer. I feel his honesty and ability of doing things told to him..could be the reason.

My grandmother would admiringly give us a cup of the best payasam..It is from inside the temple..(original) and it is for …some special poojas.. and we used to take it as Lord’s gift to us..There are many who yearn for this which we get without any effort..

During later years I wanted to thank Him and him..

When we were in Chettiar Compound..many a day there would be a big crying sound…My mother’s face saddened .. Periyavan. And the sambalam day. Grandmother would ask for the money..and it ends with a beating from Thatha ..The money is never got but only the wailing is heard..and for fear of the public face which was always ready to laugh inside and pity outside..my mother would interfere and he goes free..

But  my heart breaks..

I saw him one night selling news papers, mags at the platform , thampanoor bus stand.  The  bus stand is notorious with the cheats, pickpockets, prostitutes…and what not.. Why and how is he there..in bad company.. It was also a hushhush talk in Patti’s house house..After my thatha’s death, no one bothers to ask him..

“kadamaye..my grandmother  used to give him coffee, food..etc..

I can see a heavy heart bleeding in pain..

Many years flew in between.. things turned bad to worse and ugly..

Grandmother had a fall and she stopped going out..due to her leg fracture ..She is now in my Venkacham mama’s house..Venkacham mam’s children were married off and well settled..

His cleanliness and way of living never accepted Periyavan..but was worried of to settle things ..

A thinnai converted room was allotted to Periyavan..day time he sleeps and we knew his presence..by the cigarette smokes coming out.. Stories or rumours in family circles was that Periyavan was a bad guy and his Passbook bears a Vallakadavu address…

I often felt that things would have had a different turn had they compulsorily married him to a poor girl..One of his colleagues was also a deaf and dumb..but had a good family life….But why my grand parents never thought of it..perhaps they feared no girl would accept him or didn’t want any girl to suffer..

Now that all were retired and  Periyavan had worse times and had find out friends or public spaces for his daily chores..my grandmother adamantly declares…Till my death..i will feed him come what may..

But oneday  she called me aside..Giri I want to tell you a serious thing..All of you put your heads together and find out a way out..Put him to an old house…or find a solution…

Once  Chithi offered to take him to Madras and keep him in an old age home known to her..but Periyavan  don’t want to go anywhere.. Somebody tried to take him to the Brahmanasabha run old age home near Papanamcode..but no..he don’t want to..

And my grandmother died..perhaps she could find a solution after her death..

Things were turning ugly..

Mamas had to take responsibility without attachment..

One day they come to know that Periyavan had been hit by a speeding vehicle and was in General Hospital..and they had to go..another day another incident and they are beginning to be fed up…

Periyavan’s eye sight faded..

One day I was simply frozen..I out of sympathy went to him to enquire of his health inside Pathanasamy temple near Narasimha moorthy shrine, where he regularly sits. He did not recognize me..he was telling of his difficulty to see…very poor visibility..My god..i didn’t know whether to take him to a hospital or pay him for his operation…but  how ..i had to go back to Chennai where I was working..

Another day I saw somebody helping him cross the road..

I prayed to God..

Recently I visited Venkacham mama’s house and was told that Periyavan began to defacate in the room itself and unbearable..He found out a new old age home far away in an interior place in Attingal.

And  just now Pushpa called me  …He is no more..

He is my uncle..my mother’s  brother.. he died unmarried…

I did not cry..took a bath ..a small aching in the mind..will my grandma rest in peace now..

Did the atma take vasanas with it…No rites done will it reach destination?